WALT: write an introduction that orientates and hooks in the reader.
Today we made butter in our class.Do you know how to make butter? We had to get into a circle so we can have a turn to shake it.
I am going to tell you what you need you need to make butter. You need cream and you need to get something to pour the cream in like a jar, and you need salt. To make it you need to pour the cream into something and then you add a little salt then you shake it.
When we tasted it was nice it was creamer. It was like a butter we can sell and make all of the time. But the butter was very nice.
My favorite part was when we tasting it it was nice.
I agree your introduction is clear, we just need to work on hooking in your reader. Try and use some of the techniques we have been practising in class Phaezon.
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